Fanfiction: More Than Words Can Wield (Avatar)

[nebroadwe]

Title: Ficlet: More Than Words Can Wield
Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Character(s): Katara
Pairing(s): Katara/Aang
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 500
Warnings: Set post-series, but since I haven't seen the finale, I'm only guessing about who survives it.
A/N: If I shipped any pairing in this fandom it would be Iroh/jasmine tea, but when an older (twenty-something?) Aang popped up in my imagination to tell Katara that she was his first love, I found myself wondering what she would say to that, given their history. Crossposted from nebroadwe to avatar_fans, aangxkatara and avatarfic.
Dedication: For artemisrae, who helped prod me into this fandom and is now another year older. Many happy returns!

---

From her wild hair he teases one dark tress
And loops it up beside her seal-brown cheek,
And, smiling, "You were my first love," he says,
And kisses her, and waits for her to speak --
-- but she never knows how to answer him when he trots that one out. And you were mine wouldn't be true, not in the breathless, pulse-pounding, walking-through-lava-for-panda-lilies way he means it. Her first taste of those heady emotions ended in disaster, anyway, teaching her to be wary of the frisson of blood stirred by gallantry. She mistrusted even her slow-kindling attraction to him, confused by how it took fire not only from admiration, but also from compassion and camaraderie and terror for his life. That she lies in his arms now without bewilderment or fear of betrayal is a gift they share with delectable zest. Love is more than romance, but not less, and he's become adept at leaving her breathless.

She still doesn't know what to say to him, though. You gave me hope is true enough, but she'll stomp barefoot through hot coals before that phrase ever passes her lips again. I always knew you had excellent taste is too self-congratulatory, better suited to her brother's bantering voice than her own. Shut up and kiss me avoids the issue altogether (and in a most agreeable way) but she always feels guilty afterward, as she wouldn't if the rudeness were wholly in fun. At least he's not angling for a particular response, spirits be praised -- though if he ever does, she'll tell him You're as dear to me as salt and let him wrestle with the riddle till their next meal, like the old chieftain in Gran-Gran's tale of the three daughters.

She's tried to persuade herself it's a good thing that she can't reduce her feelings for him, then or now, to cliché, but it doesn't work. The moment she sees his frank, cheerful face she winces at the insult, blushing to think herself such a fool. She'd rather be angry -- it's not fair that his words take wing while hers clot on her tongue until a kiss washes the sour taste away -- or, better yet, she'd rather be eloquent. She's practiced, memorizing famous love poems (I am in your clay and you in mine) and rehearsing speeches of her own devising in front of the mirror (You brightened my life like moonlight reflected on the water, but now it's as if you're the moon itself and I am the ocean ...). When the time comes, however, those studied sentences never seem right. He always speaks from the heart; she wants to respond in kind. So she clasps him around the neck and hopes he understands everything that she means to say ...

Some lovers' words are artful, some are plain;
Some fluent tongues for passion silent fall.
Hers finds release in custom's fond refrain,
"And you're my own true love" -- for truth trumps all.

---

Author's Note: "Gran-Gran's tale of the three daughters" is a version of a widely-dispersed folktale in which a father asks his children to tell him how much they love him; he finally reconciles with the one who answers that he is "as dear as salt" after he's served a tasteless meal of unsalted food. (Shakesepeare's King Lear, from which I draw my title, harks back to another variation of this story.) The line "I am in your clay and you in mine" paraphrases a short passage from the work of the thirteenth-century Chinese poet and artist Kuan Tao-Sheng, translated by Kenneth Rexroth here. The framing poem, such as it is, is my own.

---

[Acknowledgments: Avatar: The Last Airbender was created by Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko; copyright for this property is held by Viacom International, Inc.]

Comments

[kristenell.livejournal.com]

That was beautiful, and a wondeful take on their relationship post series. Very nicely done!

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I enjoyed working this one out -- I really did start with Aang's line and then screech to a halt over Katara's response, and in the process of figuring out something for her to say, I found I wasn't writing a fluffy little romance piece, but a meditation on speaking love's truths. Fluff another time, I guess. :-)

[loquaciousquark.livejournal.com]

Man, I have to say, your poetry is as impressive as the ficlet itself. They're both really beautifully crafted; thanks for sharing!

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

I like writing poetry, but I haven't tried anything in this mode for quite a while -- it's difficult to avoid sounding jingly or stilted. I think this came out reasonably natural (only a couple of grammatical inversions) and said what I wanted it to say, which is all I can ask for. Glad you enjoyed this 'fic!

[juxtaposie.livejournal.com]

You never cease to enthrall amaze me. The poetry in this piece was just beautiful, and the emotion! - Oh, amazing! Gorgeous. Just gorgeous.

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Both of my latest 'fics have sprouted poems midstream -- I'm not sure why. Maybe I'll write some more original poetry now. It's been a long while since I've been inspired to write anything other than tanka. What's even stranger is that this piece bunnied amazingly fast. I'd been at a loss for an idea for artemisrae's birthday, but then I remembered this one on Thursday and just started in. I had the poem done that evening and most of the rest drafted out by the next day; final edits occurred this morning. (Of course, there's still one line -- one line -- in there that I do not think works and cannot figure out how to mend. Argh! If I'm lucky, I'll figure it out and correct it before artemisrae sees it. If not, I'll just quietly sneak it in before this goes to archive on the Pit ...)

[juxtaposie.livejournal.com]

She will be ecstatic, whatever the case, and I totally encourage this poetry writing thing. I myself have always lacked the skill, but if this is any indication of your talents then you are doing the literary community (or lj, at least!) a great disservice by keeping it to yourself.

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

Some of it's here -- all the tanka I've been composing over the past year or so, mostly. Follow the poetry (http://nebroadwe.livejournal.com/tag/poetry) tag, if interested ...

(Fourth Rule of Writerhood: Never miss an opportunity to plug your own work. :-)

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

OoOOooOo.

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

Here's me poking a toe outside my comfort zone again. :-)

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

That can be a good thing. *nods*

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

As long as I don't poke anyone's eye out. (Like mine.)

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that always sucks.

[artemisrae.livejournal.com]

ohmygosh you wrote me birthday Katara/Aang. Which is the best kind of Katara/Aang.

The poetry is gorgeous, and as for the fic itself, I'm especially fond of the line: She mistrusted even her slow-kindling attraction to him, confused by how it took fire not only from admiration, but also from compassion and camaraderie and terror for his life. Because yes, that is exactly how it went for her (at least how I like to imagine it) and I also love the way that Aang can say it so simply and leave her tongue tied. Katara talks about her feelings ALL THE TIME and you know only something truly important would sort of leave her thoughtful like this.

Wonderful work from you, as always, and a brilliant birthday gift. Thank you so so much - I would be happy enough just to see more Avatar fic from you, but fic from my OTP? I saw it and xed out of my browser and had to come back to LJ just to prove to myself it was real.

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

ohmygosh you wrote me birthday Katara/Aang. Which is the best kind of Katara/Aang.

She shoots -- she scores! The crowd goes wild! (Too bad there's no Olympic medal for Katara/Aang birthday 'fic. I look good in laurels. :-)

The poetry is gorgeous, and as for the fic itself, I'm especially fond of the line: She mistrusted even her slow-kindling attraction to him, confused by how it took fire not only from admiration, but also from compassion and camaraderie and terror for his life.

Oh, good, because fortunately that's not one of the three that just got edited. [sighs with relief] I read a lot of Zutara when I first started poking around in this fandom, which, if nothing else, made me think hard about how a romantic relationship between Katara and Aang would develop, given what canon shows us of their interactions, fluffy and otherwise. (A good deal of which I haven't seen -- I'm not sure what it is about this fandom that always has me writing ahead of my knowledge. First that season 2 Iroh drabble when I'd only watched season 1, and now this postseries ficlet when I haven't watched most of season 3. I live in terror of producing something utterly boneheaded and getting my artistic license revoked.)

I also love the way that Aang can say it so simply and leave her tongue tied. Katara talks about her feelings ALL THE TIME and you know only something truly important would sort of leave her thoughtful like this.

I kept imagining it as one of those bizarre rhetorical disconnects, where he's just bringing up the topic as a way of telling her how much he loves her, but she hears it primarily as an invitation to retell their story and gets stuck, because her opening line is, "I thought you were such a sweet little guy, just like Momo." (The Ember Island Players have a lot to answer for, because "You gave me hope" really would have worked, if they hadn't destroyed it with their performance. Someday I must write the story where the Players acquire a new patron in the Fire Lord, who's willing to give them lots of money, but only if they drop certain plays from their repertoire ...) Then, too, as you say, she took a lot longer to fall in love with him and not in the conventional across-a-crowded-glacierroom romantic way (or even the hate-is-passion's-twin way that drives a fair amount of Zutara), so she doesn't have the same store of ready-made tropes to use as he does.

One thing I kept working on as I revised through the drafts was making sure the sense that it's only this one situation that catches her up short comes through. I wasn't trying to say that she doesn't know how to tell him she loves him -- only that, in this one instance, she doesn't have a ready retort. Hopefully I succeeded there ...

Wonderful work from you, as always, and a brilliant birthday gift. Thank you so so much ...

Thank you. If I've succeeded in pleasing you, my work here is done. (Except for a tweak-tweak here and a tweak-tweak there ... Old MacDonald had a 'fic ...)

[artemisrae.livejournal.com]

(A good deal of which I haven't seen -- I'm not sure what it is about this fandom that always has me writing ahead of my knowledge. First that season 2 Iroh drabble when I'd only watched season 1, and now this postseries ficlet when I haven't watched most of season 3. I live in terror of producing something utterly boneheaded and getting my artistic license revoked.)

This is when it's good to remember that Avatar is a kid's show. There aren't many leaps of logic you could make that would be terribly off base.

I kept imagining it as one of those bizarre rhetorical disconnects, where he's just bringing up the topic as a way of telling her how much he loves her, but she hears it primarily as an invitation to retell their story and gets stuck, because her opening line is, "I thought you were such a sweet little guy, just like Momo."

That WOULD leave her rather tongue tied, considering that he knew pretty much from the beginning that he loved her and hers came around more slowly. She wouldn't want to hurt his feelings, but to be fair he was (is) 12 (future hunkiness notwithstanding). The fact that she grew into it is one of my favorite aspects of their relationship (and this goes for Ed/Winry as well) - they're best friends first, and then the relationship grew out of that.

Someday I must write the story where the Players acquire a new patron in the Fire Lord, who's willing to give them lots of money, but only if they drop certain plays from their repertoire ...

I LOVE THIS IDEA and encourage you WHOLEHEARTEDLY to pursue it. Especially because you know Sokka and Toph would be devastated to see their onstage selves yanked...

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

This is when it's good to remember that Avatar is a kid's show. There aren't many leaps of logic you could make that would be terribly off base.

[considers this statement, then considers the Avatar section of the Pit of Voles ... :-)]

I LOVE THIS IDEA and encourage you WHOLEHEARTEDLY to pursue it. Especially because you know Sokka and Toph would be devastated to see their onstage selves yanked...

It keeps wanting to tell itself from the point of view of the players, though. ("I'll have to rewrite the ending." "Keep the fight scene! Audiences love fight scenes!") More research -- my theater days are too far behind me and I was never involved much on the production side.

[suspicious.livejournal.com]

I really like the level of subtle intensity behind this (if those two words can even work together, I don't know, but it seems fitting), like her smoldering emotions for trying to find the right way to word her feelings.

Your writing is beautiful.

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I find it a little harder, when I'm writing a piece that dissects someone's thoughts, to keep it a 'fic and not an essay. In this one I did have to keep coming back to the words Katara was experimenting with -- the second paragraph more or less wrote itself once I came up with those four possible responses, but the third one spun its wheels for quite a while until the idea of her practicing comebacks in front of the mirror showed up, and I could go out and investigate Chinese love poetry. I think her own little speech, about the moon and the ocean, was the most difficult of all, because I wanted it to sound a bit awkward and maybe a little overdramatic (she's not a writer, after all :-), but not too silly. The version you see now is about five or six drafts along. It's not perfect, but it's as good as I can come up with for the moment.

[findmyantidrug.livejournal.com]

Gorgeous. You showed the way their love developed so well, and made them both believable. Your poetry's beautiful! The style is so classic and romantic, and your rhymes flow smoothly enough that I didn't even realize you rhymed until I went back and reread. Great job!

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

... your rhymes flow smoothly enough that I didn't even realize you rhymed until I went back and reread.

Yay! That's what I was hoping to achieve. Rhymed quatrains in iambic pentameter are hard. I toyed with the idea of doing the framing poem as a Petrarchan sonnet (8 lines, then another 6), but getting the first four to work together properly was so difficult I decided it wasn't worth it. Sometimes you have to know when to stop.

[findmyantidrug.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I tend to avoid iambic pentameter like death because of how difficult it is. ^^; I think having four lines each gives the piece a more appealing look, too, so that's a perk.

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

I'm big into symmetry. That, as well as not having to figure out any more wordplay than the two senses of "truth" (what's a Petrarchan sonnet without wordplay?), let me write two quatrains with a clear conscience. :-)

[itsplashes.livejournal.com]

This was just beautiful. :) Thank you for sharing it with us.

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

You're welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed it! (And that you left a comment. This is a pleasantly responsive fandom. :-)

[artemisrae.livejournal.com]

So I know this is a year old, but you linked to it in your sonnet and I feel compelled to say again: this is so so lovely and well done and I still love it.

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

Thanks for being born and inspiring me to write it. :-)