Fanfiction: The Sweet Theft

[nebroadwe]

Title: Drabble: The Sweet Theft
Fandom: FMA (manga version)
Character(s): Hohenheim, "Father"
Pairing(s): Hohenheim/Mechthild
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 140 (I cheated a bit, but the original part of this drabble is exactly 100 words; the remaining 40 -- the framing dialogue -- are paraphrased from the manga.)
Warnings: None, really, but if you haven't read chapter 75, the context will elude you.
A/N: It occurred to me to wonder what those people whose names Hohenheim remembers meant to him before they were nothing but names. Here's one supposition, long-meditated but written at speed (where is the twenty-six-hour day I ordered?). Concrit welcomed with Chilean grapes. Crossposted from nebroadwe to Höllenbeck (i.e. hagaren_manga, fm_alchemist, fullservicefma, fma_het, fma_writers, and fma_fiction).
Dedication: For artemisrae, who is also considering Hohenheim's backstory.

---

‘Tis no sin love’s fruit to steal; / But the sweet theft to reveal,
To be taken, to be seen, / These have crimes accounted been.
--Ben Jonson, "Come, My Celia"
      "It must be inconvenient, being human," mused the homunculus. "Your kind is forced to gather in communities and breed in order to survive."

      "Don't call it breeding," Hohenheim retorted, his face sunset-reddened.

      -- for he and Mechthild did nothing so profitable ("My masters, this lad's worth his weight in copper for the blood in him, out of a weaver by a stonemason, and all unformed yet: you may mold him as you like ... "), nothing so calculated ("She brings a fine dowry and court connections, but if she cannot bear sons, like her sister, then she's a poor bargain!") when they met on errands in the market and lay together behind Mayo's stall, skin chafing skin, transmuting time into pleasure, each moment forced to ripeness like an unseasonal hothouse fruit: hurried, surprising, and sweet --

      "If you say so," replied the homunculus.

---

[Acknowledgments: Fullmetal Alchemist (Hagane no Renkinjutsushi) was created by Arakawa Hiromu and is serialized monthly in Shonen Gangan (Square Enix). Copyright for this property is held by Arakawa Hiromu and Square Enix. All rights reserved.]

Comments

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

*blush* for little old me?!

But of course!

As for the fic itself well... Hohenheim is a mystery, but what I actually like about this little thing is not him and Mechthild (which is very tasteful, I know you don't often go there) ...

As fractured_chaos said upcomment, just putting a toe outside my comfort zone here, me. I'm fine with my characters canoodling; they're just going to have to hire someone else to do the play-by-play. :-)

... but actually the conversation between him and the homunculus. We don't really see Hohenheim break away from his little vaguely dazed demeanor very often, and when we have it's been in relation to the homunculus, which makes him marvelously IC here.

Yes: with other people in the present, he's always hiding himself. But I owe most of the good contrast in this scene to Arakawa: it's her dialogue in the frame, and I'm actually bending the scene away from its manifest content a bit (Hohenheim goes on to argue calmly that human beings derive a lot of joy from their relationships with friends and family, however weird that may seem to the homunculus) to focus on this one particular kind of relationship. It's still about the idea that human beings don't/shouldn't treat each other instrumentally, though, and we do see from what follows in the manga that Hohenheim's views aren't shared by all members of his society. Unfortunately.

[artemisrae.livejournal.com]

just putting a toe outside my comfort zone here, me. I'm fine with my characters canoodling; they're just going to have to hire someone else to do the play-by-play. :-)

I know what you mean. I always swear I won't go there and then Josie says, "But you know what you should do?" and the next thing I know I'm blushing furiously and threatening to delete the thing after every damn sentence. I'm terrible with peer pressure.

But I owe most of the good contrast in this scene to Arakawa: it's her dialogue in the frame, and I'm actually bending the scene away from its manifest content a bit (Hohenheim goes on to argue calmly that human beings derive a lot of joy from their relationships with friends and family, however weird that may seem to the homunculus) to focus on this one particular kind of relationship.

Ha - maybe I should go back and read some chapters that feature characters OTHER than Edward and Winry. I'd completely forgotton about the exchange and.... I still maintain that it seems like something you'd write. It totally works (for me, anyway,) and you just gotta wonder how much more of Hohenheim's backstory Arakawa intends to give us.

This is also nice because it's given me a nudge to go back and look at that other Hohenheim and Pinako fic I've been toying with. I guess I should post that at some point.

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

... you just gotta wonder how much more of Hohenheim's backstory Arakawa intends to give us.

I want to know what's in the letter from Trisha that Pinako gave Ed to deliver to Hohenheim. Arakawa does not, in general, put a loaded rifle on the stage if no one is thinking of firing it (thank you, Anton Chekhov!) and that letter looks like a fowling piece to me. I'm preparing to duck. (And then there are the land mines, literal and metaphorical, as we've seen in the most recent chapter ... )

This is also nice because it's given me a nudge to go back and look at that other Hohenheim and Pinako fic I've been toying with. I guess I should post that at some point.

[perks up and waits attentively ... ]

[artemisrae.livejournal.com]

I want to know what's in the letter from Trisha that Pinako gave Ed to deliver to Hohenheim

ASDSDFJKHF I FORGOT ABOUT THAT. GOOD GOD. The more I remember this stuff the more convinced I am that Hohenheim isn't gonna survive the series. *sigh*

[perks up and waits attentively ... ]

HA. It's giving me trouble, to say the least. I've never been doubtful of my ability to write shenanigans but this piece is giving me trouble. It's hard trying to strike the right balance between "Paiting a full picture of Pinako's Rush Valley life" and "Excess explanation and OCs." Not to mention I'm still not 100% sure of my characterization. *prods fic with sharp stick*

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

The more I remember this stuff the more convinced I am that Hohenheim isn't gonna survive the series. *sigh*

I was convinced he was sacrificially toast up until the last chapter, when I was pleasantly surprised by the turn of events, and then began to doubt again, just because Arakawa doesn't always run with the archetype in the way you think she's going to. (I still think Scar and Kimbley will do for each other, though; Scar's got too many murders at his door to survive narrative justice.)

It's hard trying to strike the right balance between "Paiting a full picture of Pinako's Rush Valley life" and "Excess explanation and OCs."

Hear, hear. "Winry and Paninya go to the movies" has been giving me the same kind of trouble. It's the lure of world-building -- I created a whole upscale neighborhood and a culture of apprenticeship for Rush Valley, but I'm beginning to suspect the deer is teal. Oh, well. Finish 'fic first; edit afterward.

[artemisrae.livejournal.com]

(I still think Scar and Kimbley will do for each other, though; Scar's got too many murders at his door to survive narrative justice.)

What I want to know is how Winry is going to be involved with those two - she's connected to both of them and she's right there and Kimbley specifically mentioned the photograph and arrrrgh. Damn you Arakawa! (Or maybe it's just me the silly fangirl, hopeful for protection angst? I'm not sure, but whatever she comes out with is sure to blow my mind, no matter what I suspect will happen.)

Hear, hear. "Winry and Paninya go to the movies" has been giving me the same kind of trouble. It's the lure of world-building -- I created a whole upscale neighborhood and a culture of apprenticeship for Rush Valley, but I'm beginning to suspect the deer is teal.

SEE, I WOULD TOTALLY BE INTERESTED IN THAT. But then again: look at Winry's popularity in fandom. *sigh* Then again, if you're ever lookign for someone to take a quick glance at the fic, I'd be more than happy to :D

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

SEE, I WOULD TOTALLY BE INTERESTED IN THAT. But then again: look at Winry's popularity in fandom. *sigh* Then again, if you're ever lookign for someone to take a quick glance at the fic, I'd be more than happy to :D

I never understood why Winry got such a negative rep in certain segments of this fandom, except that the clear narrative indications of Ed/Win interfere with people's preferred pairings (except if that's the case, why don't more people hate Hawkeye?). Maybe it's just one of those Dr. Fell things.

May take you up on the offer to look at draft material, once I have a complete draft. I keep meaning to write, and then being interrupted by local necessities, like plumbing.