Fanfiction: Snake Oil (Fullmetal Alchemist)

[nebroadwe]

Title: Ficlet: Snake Oil
Fandom: FMA (anime or manga version)
Character(s): Ed, Al
Pairing(s): None.
Rating: G
Word Count: 200
Warnings: None.
A/N: Written in response to the prompts "genuine" (provided by artemisrae) and "glisten" (provided by evil_little_dog) for the Just One Word meme. Concrit welcomed with a patent remedy guaranteed to cure what ails ya! Crossposted from nebroadwe to Höllenbeck (i.e. hagaren_manga, fm_alchemist, fma_gen, fma_writers and fma_fiction).

---

      Sometimes the Elric brothers know a lead's worthless, like an advertisement for Genuine Philosopher's Stone Chips peddled out of a medicine wagon, offering Relief For The Thousand Natural Shocks That Flesh Is Heir To (headache, earache, indigestion, constipation, arthritis, colic, and, er, female complaints) by Stimulating The Body's Natural Alchemy. The brothers visit the quacksalver's customers for form's sake, she herself having skipped town at the first whisper of official interest in her stock. A few disappointed souls give up their red glass shards willingly, but most insist on keeping them. "Let it go, Ed," Al pleads after one arthritic old lady is sufficiently stimulated, either by the placebo effect or the Fullmetal Alchemist's personality, to chase them off her porch with a broom. "If it makes her feel better -- "

      "But it's a fake! They're all fakes!" Ed's voice soars with frustration, then drops, level and over-controlled. "False hope's a trap, Al. People need real help."

      "I know, I know," Al replies helplessly.

      He watches his brother reduce the glistening handful of hopes they've collected to sand and waste heat. Neither asks what they'll do if the will-o'-the-wisp they're chasing dissolves as easily under the grim glare of truth.

---

[Acknowledgments: Fullmetal Alchemist (Hagane no Renkinjutsushi) was created by Arakawa Hiromu and is serialized monthly in Shonen Gangan (Square Enix); two anime of the same title were produced by Studio Bones. Copyright for these properties is held by Arakawa Hiromu, Square Enix, Mainichi Broadcasting System, Aniplex, Bones, and dentsu.]

Comments

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

Oooooooo...

Watch, I'll be the arthritic old lady siccing my evil dogs on young whippersnappers one day.

But seriously, I want more story with the quack.

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

Watch, I'll be the arthritic old lady siccing my evil dogs on young whippersnappers one day.

They'll pry your patent remedies from your cold, dead fingers!

But seriously, I want more story with the quack.

But she hasn't got one ... [ruminates] ... yet ... uh, oh ...

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

They'll pry your patent remedies from your cold, dead fingers!

That's right! My fake Philosopher Stone and all!

I'm just wondering if the homunculi didn't occasionally have to wander around and check up on quacks to find out if they were really something else entirely (hence Dr. Marcoh).

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

I'll write you quack if you write me Envy and original!Greed on a road trip doing just that ...

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

Hmmmmmm....

[ghostfriendly.livejournal.com]

Cool stuff, both funny and a little sad, with the real ole' style of patent medicine advertisement. The only improvement I can think of might be sticking the bracketed list on the end of an uninturrpted advertising tagline.

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

I've actually cataloged patent medicine adverts in my day job, so the phrasing is familiar. :-) I'm not sure I could shift the list to the end without changing it into the same rhetorical format, though (right now, it's simply in apposition with The Thousand Natural Shocks as a bathetic contrast), and that might run me into trouble with my word count. I was trying to write a drabble for each prompt, so combining them meant a 200-word cutoff. It's an artificial goal, of course, but I like the challenge.

[ghostfriendly.livejournal.com]

Suppose it could be a bathetic contrast, sounds like you've thought it through anyway

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

I try (which occasionally leads to overthinking, but nobody's perfect).

[artemisrae.livejournal.com]

OH ED. He's such a woobie. I'd hug him if I wasn't sure he'd bite... I'm also amused by Ed apparently being overpowered by an old woman.

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

Here's that funny-turned-serious thing again -- a bit less subtle this time, though (rereading it, I'm not sure that the turn at Ed's line about false hope isn't too abrupt, argh). But Ed being chased by old women always amuses me; growing up next door to Granny Pinako, he must have felt the business end of a broom a lot (until Winry and her wrenches took over).

It amuses me to realize that I'm writing Percy/Annabeth rather like I write Ed/Win -- some of the same dynamics jump out at me from both relationships.

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

Don't forget the pipe. Pinako probably wrapped his head with the bowl of her pipe and used the stem for poking purposes, as well.

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

Ah, the days when corporal punishment wasn't problematic. (I've always been rather skeeved by the Gilbreth patriarch's liberal whacking of his children in Cheaper By the Dozen, even though the narrators clearly aren't. Amusing as that book is, dispassionately considered, those kids had a really weird childhood ...)

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

Oh, definitely. And it didn't stop with their childhood, either, by reading Belles on Their Toes.

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

I love the bit where Jane's older brothers explain to her how not to be a sad apple. :-)

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

Is that with the flounce of the dress?

"You look like you sat on a hatpin!"

I loved that.

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

I'd forgotten that one! [giggles] I'm going to have to reread the book now (while I'm waiting for Men Against Fire to come on ILL so I can write another Pumpkin Scissors fic).

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

That scene and the swimsuit scene were my two favorites in that novel.

[artemisrae.livejournal.com]

It amuses me to realize that I'm writing Percy/Annabeth rather like I write Ed/Win -- some of the same dynamics jump out at me from both relationships.

I could seriously go on about this until the point where you're not interested anymore. I'm pretty sure it's not a coincidence that my adoration of Annabeth rivals Winry, and that I feel a need to deconstruct and rebuild her character the same way I've wanted to (and maybe have tried to) with Winry for the last... three years or so. (Good lord, I've been writing FMA for three years now?!)

And yes, I see a lot of similar dynamics between Percy/Annabeth and Ed/Winry, along with a lot of the same issues they may face. I think Percy might have a leg up on Ed as far as emotional maturity though, we've seen a lot of progression on his end through the series. And I think Annabeth's security issues might be a touch worse than Winry's, because we've actually seen Winry deal with those during her character arc, sort of.

Um, I'll stop talking now. This has been on my mind since I finished the series, if you can't tell.

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

No, no, do go on ... :-)

I think Percy might have a leg up on Ed as far as emotional maturity though, we've seen a lot of progression on his end through the series. And I think Annabeth's security issues might be a touch worse than Winry's, because we've actually seen Winry deal with those during her character arc, sort of.

Percy's got the advantages of a reasonably stable home life (once Gabe's out of the picture, anyway) and a less volatile personality. He's a bit more Everyman-as-Hero than Ed is, I think. Or, to pull a few classical allusions out of my hat, Percy's a hero in the Hector mold (despite his little dip in the Styx) -- brave, honorable, devoted to his family, not looking for a fight but not shirking it, either. Ed's more like Achilles -- passionate, touchy about his honor, capable of both deep love and terrible anger. And I enjoy Winry and Annabeth because both of them are Athena-types: strong, clever, brave women who make things. But they're both also very modern in that they can be both Athena-style heroes and love interests, without having to give up one for the other. Classical heroines always have to come stepping down to a domestic role in their romantic relationships; if they don't, it never ends well (cf. Hippolyta).

[artemisrae.livejournal.com]

IF YOU INSIST.

Your descriptions are appropriate - Percy is much more easy going than Ed is, although I have a feeling that he can match Ed in a stubbornness contest. Not that I'd necessarily use stubborn to describe Percy as a personality trait, but when he feels it's that important? He's not budging. And part of the reason I like him with Annabeth is part of the reason I like Ed with Winry - they both just love them for how they are. I know some will say that Ed/Winry is not "officially" canon, which technically, yes, but if Arakawa pulls a 180 on us now I'll be unhappy for other reasons. But it's like you said about not having to step for their relationship - even if Ed/Winry isn't "canon" yet, his soft spot for her is undeniable, and pretty much every chance Ed gets he praises Winry for - what's this? Her automail skills, and how smart she is.

And Percy... I generally pretty much just picture him in awe of the fact that he's landed Annabeth a lot of the time; he's pretty up-front through all the books about what a genius she is and how much he admires her.

And that's not even getting into what Ed and Percy symbolize back for Winry and Annabeth; for Winry, Ed's the one who came back, while for Annabeth, Percy is the one who didn't leave. And I can't stress how important I find that for both of them. I think Winry's a bit more at peace with it (the whole Scar arc) than Annabeth is. Technically, for Annabeth, Luke "came back" at the end there, but we hardly see how that impacts her, she with the admitted, "I can't have permanent relationships so I want to build permanent buildings" issues. Which makes for a fun dynamic when plotting fic with them.

Strangely, thinking about Hippolyta makes me worry more for Clarisse than Annabeth...

[ishte.livejournal.com]

I love this. very cute.

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

Thanks! It was fun to write. I love it when I can actually get a writing mood to gel (must do more while fit is on me ...)