Random: Geoffrey Chaucer on Sparkly Vampires

[nebroadwe]

So, you all knew that Geoffrey Chaucer Hath a Blog, right? Well, he's also got an opinion of Twilight (though, due to time/space distortions, his copy is entitled Vespers):

In this fyne book of sparklie vampyres, Bella Cygne moveth from Essex to Yorkshyre to lyve with her fathir, who ys a sheriff and escheator. At a scole ful of recentlie coyned stereotypes, she witnesseth the fayre skyn and fashion-sprede slow-mocioun hotenesse of the Cu Chulainn clan, the which have all eaten long ago of the magical Irisshe Salmon of Really Good Hair (oon byte of this magical salmon and ye shal have good hair for evir). Aftir Bella doth see the hottest of the clan, Edward, stop a wagon wyth hys bare handes, fight off twentie churles, and brood so much he did make Angel look lyk Mister Rogeres, she doth realise that the Cu Chulainns are vampyres. But they are good vampyres, who drinke wyne. Ther is considerablie moore sexual tensioun than in Piers Plowman.

His verdict?

Yt was actuallie pretty decent. Sure, the prose kynd of maketh Dives et Pauper look lyk George Orwelle, but the storie pulleth me yn.... Ich am thinkinge that I shal add a litel sparkle to that Tales of Canterburye projecte ich have been werkinge on for several yeeres nowe. Ich am now writing the recentlye-renamed Wyf of Bathory’s Prologue.

“Experience, though noon auctorite / Were in thys world were right enough for me / To knowe not to date a werewolf...”

Oh, Geoffrey ... I thought I knew ye ...

Comments

[fmanalyst.livejournal.com]

I'd seen his bit on Doctor Who, but this is funny too!

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

When was that? I'm so far behind on new Who I don't think I'll ever catch up, but I might try for Chaucer ...

[fmanalyst.livejournal.com]

Today's date actually. But it doesn't get into spoilers.

[fmanalyst.livejournal.com]

Actually it's further up in the Twilight post.

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's what that's about! Duh. I was too busy tracking medieval references to catch the modern ones.

[mulzrule.livejournal.com]

"and brood so much he did make Angel look lyk Mister Rogeres"

Bwahahaha! OMFG this just made my week.

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

I'm still snortling about the Wife of Bathory myself. :-)

[mulzrule.livejournal.com]

This guy kills me. :D

[lyrangalia]

I just hurt myself laughing.

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

I wish Chaucer blogged more often. He's such a hoot.

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

This?

...and brood so much he did make Angel look lyk Mister Rogeres

= WIN. \o/

I must go read this blog. Out loud. As All Chaucer Should Be Read, So Sayeth Dr. Dillon, late of Flagler College.

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

My college roommate and I got looks in the local ER once for practicing the first forty lines of the General Prologue to The Canterbury Tales aloud while waiting for a friend to be seen. Hey, it was a class assignment. (I can still do the first twenty, more or less. Ha! Now, if it had been the first forty lines of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight ...)

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

We all wound up studying Chaucer out loud, as Dr. Dillon pointed out it was easier to read and hear the words than just to read silently.

So, around the campus, outside in the hot FL sun, you'd hear, "A clerk there was in Oxenford also..." in various voices.

See, if we'd been smart, we could've made up a good rhythm and sing it....