Poetry: Untitled #13, appropriately enough ...

[nebroadwe]

Happy Birthday, evil_little_dog! In honor of the day, Edward Elric and I present the following tanka:

"Just here for the food!"
Loitering beside the cake
As the candles burn,

He won't let you blow them out,
The youngest State -- Arsonist?

Ed claims there's an age joke in there, but I think he's just kidding himself ...

Many happy returns of the day!

Comments

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

What does the bastard want? Why is he here, anyway? Ed scowls and (sort of) turns his attention away from Winry (and the icing and her juggling plates)...

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

Once he's certain that all eyes are upon him, the colonel continues, "I propose a toast to our hostess." He bows slightly in your direction and lifts his glass. "May the next birthday she celebrates, and all those to come, find her even more beautiful and beloved than she is today. To evil_little_dog!"

The room erupts into a chorus of "Hear, hear!" and "To the birthday girl!" ...

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

"You're toasting her?" Ed blurts out and Al steps on his foot -

"You're supposed to take a drink when someone's being toasted, Brother...."

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

Ed's gaze turns reflexively to the glass in his hand, and his eyes widen in shock. "Oh, hell no!" he exclaims -- possibly more loudly than intended -- and the entire room turns to look at him ...

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

"Edward! Drink it now!" Winry hisses at him, giving him that Look o' DoOoOOom of hers....

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

Unintimidated, Ed glares back ...

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

"Don't make me get the wrench," Winry hisses....

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

Al chimes in (literally: wringing his hands so that his greaves rattle), "Brother, please! Don't make a scene!"

"I'm not making a scene!" Ed protests. "She's the one saying she's gonna hit me!" He eyes Winry warily, even though she doesn't appear to have a wrench on her person, and her hands are full of cake (mmm, cake) ...

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

"Don't be a cad, Fullmetal, and toast the birthday girl," Roy rolls his eyes at Edward's obvious lack of couth....

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

"Nobody drinks a toast with milk!" Ed retorts.

Winry and Al continue to expostulate and cajole, but Roy sighs, drains his champagne flute, and saunters over to you. Ed can't hear what he says, but the gist of his utterance is conveyed by his gestures: a graceful spreading of the hands (please forgive my subordinate's rudeness), a shrug (what can we do?), and a brief wave of his right palm at waist level (he's only a little boy, after all ...). He adds something in your ear that makes you giggle ...

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

"Ed, you're being very rude," Winry says, almost in his ear.

Al nods in agreement, "And S.J.'s a nice person...well, okay, she usually writes you in terrible predicaments but still!"

Ed growls and clenches his hand tighter around the glass, ignoring his family for a moment to realize that the bastard has made a comment about his stature and tromps two steps forward, braid bristling. "HEY! Don't call me so short that I don't even come up to S.J.'s waist!"....

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

Roy clucks his tongue against his palate. "Still haven't studied your Sun Tzu, have you, Fullmetal?" he drawls. "'If equally matched, offer battle; if inferior, avoid it. Though an obstinate fight may be made by a small force, in the end it must defeated by the larger.'"

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

"Insulting me sounds like you want a fight," Ed rages, taking another step forward....

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

"I have better things to do with my time," Roy replies, unruffled. He turns away from Ed and offers you his arm ...

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

I take Roy's arm and stick my tongue out at Ed from behind the cover of Roy's shoulder....

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

Ed snaps and, before anyone can stop him, heaves the contents of his glass at the pair of you ...

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

"Brother!" Alphonse cries out....

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

Roy pushes you aside and takes the impact on his neck and shoulder ...

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

Winry gasps as I stagger into Havoc....

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

... who catches you with one hand on your arm and the other on your rear. "Whoops!" he says ...

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

"Fullmetal," Roy growls as I grab Havoc's wrist and move one of his hands off my backside....

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

Ed's face is, briefly, a study, as anger, shame, glee, regret and a touch of nervousness vie for control of his seventh cranial nerve. Defiance trumps them all, however, and he drops into a defensive crouch (all trees are felled at ground level) ...

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

I cannot help it and start giggling (whilst fending off Havoc's octopus hands)....

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

Roy spares a disapproving glance at his lieutenant, then raises an eyebrow at you ...

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

...which just makes me laugh harder and wave my hands....