nebroadwe: (Bear)
James MacDonald got it started over at Making Light:
You got problems with your writing
She said to me
The answer’s easy if you
Put your B in C
I’ll show you how to move along
When you find you’re up a tree
There must be fifty ways
To plot your novel.
But I must say my favorite comes from Stephen Frug in the comments:
A man throws down his pencil
He says why am I stuck in the middle now
Why am I stuck in the middle
The rest of this book is so hard
I need a writer's resort vacation
I want a shot at a Nebula
Don't want to end up a remainder
On a remainder table ...
Share and enjoy!
nebroadwe: Write write write edit edit edit edit edit & post. (Writer)
My compatriots and I survived the Triduum again, though I didn't make enough programs for the enormous number of people who decided they had nothing better to do on a Saturday night than sit in church for two and a half hours. Memo to self: make more next year, when inevitably fewer people will show up. More important memo to self: remind fellow music slate selectors next year that the communion rite is longer than they think it is, so we don't end up inserting an instrumental verse between every sung verse of the chosen too-short hymn and then having a panicked discussion while receiving the sacrament about what we should do next (which turned out to be some noodling variations on a theme by by the pianist, anyway).

Off to dim sum now ... but first, the annual Triduum Shakespeare Filk! This year, by request, the front end of Romeo's famous soliloquy from R & J II.ii. It's shorter than I had planned because I didn't expect to be eating dim sum this morning, but maybe I can do the rest of the scene another year.

But soft! What din from yonder choir loft breaks? )Yep, diction problems, a piece sung unaccompanied by anything but percussion with a key change in the middle, and not one but two patented Steven C. Warner Ohrwürmer. Not quite as memorable as the year they smoked us with mesquite chips on the new fire, but still a pretty exciting time.
nebroadwe: Write write write edit edit edit edit edit & post. (Writer)
The other day the webcomic Girl Genius posted its latest installment, which I shall not spoil for those who have not yet seen it. Suffice it to say that I was inspired thereby to filk the song "Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend" from the musical Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, with the following results:
Follow the cut to things women WERE meant to know ...  )
nebroadwe: Write write write edit edit edit edit edit & post. (Writer)
Call it clever,
Call it fun,
Call it fanfic:
See what I've gone and done.Read more... )

I know this song because [ profile] csakuras made a lovely Fullmetal Alchemist MMV from it, "Moving Forward". This piece is dedicated to the young person who called me a "freak" yesterday after I left concrit on regarding a story s/he liked. Beware freaks bearing filks ...
nebroadwe: (Bear)
I'm in a filky mood right now, so I present to you
"Adventures in Japanese Cuisine"
to the tune of the Tiny Toon Adventures theme song, as perpetrated by [ profile] hitchhiker.

[Special offer for [ profile] nateprentice: How about "The Scotsman's Kilt," to the tune of Gilbert and Sullivan's "Policemen's Chorus" from The Pirates of Penzance? I must repay you for that Harry Potter video, after all ... ]
nebroadwe: Write write write edit edit edit edit edit & post. (Writer)
A young man turned thirty-six
He fought for liberty and died down in Greece.
It's a last day in the yellow leaf;
It's a heart that's eaten by canker and grief.
And isn't it Byronic ... don't you think?

It's Assyrians like wolves on the fold,
Cohorts gleamin' in purple and gold --
Like the forest leaves after Autumn hath blown,
Who would've thought they'd wither?

Read more... )

[Calliope alone knows where that came from (except that my next project at work will involve our collection of Byroniana, including his tea caddy). I don't even like the original song: I'm an English major -- I know what irony is, and it isn't rain on your wedding day. That's just weather. (It might involve the pathetic fallacy, of course, particularly if you're being married in a melodrama. But that's another post.)]
nebroadwe: Write write write edit edit edit edit edit & post. (Writer)
One week ago today, I was cleaning roasted red pepper terrine out of the trunk of a rental car and wondering why every year I go bonkers cooking six different dishes for the local Easter potluck in addition to singing five services at my church over seven days (plus dress rehearsals). Oddly, now that it's over, I can't think of anything else I'd rather do with my time, except write the now-traditional Triduum Shakespeare filk.Read more... )Having learned its lesson from last year, the parish provided a very small and decorous new fire. The choir, not having learned its lesson, attempted probably one too many funky classical pieces (including the aforementioned Fauré), but squeaked through with reasonable élan. And despite the exploding terrine, the Easter dinner was delicious. All in all, a good year.
nebroadwe: From "The Magdalen Reading" by Rogier van der Weyden.  (Default)
If Damon Runyan had written Henry the Fifth, it might have sounded a little like this (as transcribed by the late lamented John M. Ford):
So let me put it thusly, boss, and youse
Who is the molls and goons and likewise guys
To him who is your leader. You got nix
To keep you outta French guys’ speaks and joints,
But some bull from this mouthpiece Pharamond,
"In terram Salicam mulieres ne succedant,"
"No doll can get the goods in Salic land,"
Which neighborhood those Frogs make like what is
The French North Side, which this guy Pharamond,
Pulled out of his own keister, so to speak.
Yet judges bought with their own moolah say
This Salic property is German, like
Up in Detroit and on the Pittsburgh side,
Where Big Chuck having whacked the Saxon gang,
They set up shop and started making gin.
And, since they did not fancy German dolls
(Though I got no such preferences myself)
They made this regulation that no broad
Can wear no pants up in no Salic land.
Included also are Harry's confrontation with the Dauphin's ambassador ("Dolphins do not swim too good with sharks") and the French princess's English lesson ("Sauf votre honneur, en verite, vous prononcez les mots aussi droit que les natifs de Brooklyn"). Warning: do not read while drinking splorkable liquids.

      For more Runyan pastiche, see Diane Duane's novel-in-progress The Big Meow which (among other things) seems to be imagining what would happen if Mr. Runyan found himself in the middle of the kind of story usually associated with his contemporary Mr. Lovecraft. The first six chapters are available for free perusal.
nebroadwe: Write write write edit edit edit edit edit & post. (Writer)
Dear LJ User, will you read my 'fic?
It took me days to write; here's the link to click.
It's based on a manga or an anime
That I really liked, 'cause I want to be a fanfiction writer,
Fanfiction writer.

Read more... )
nebroadwe: From "The Magdalen Reading" by Rogier van der Weyden.  (Default)
Every year, in honor of the Easter Triduum (the liturgies of Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and the Vigil of Easter as celebrated in the Roman Catholic Christian tradition), I filk a speech from Shakespeare to reflect the experiences of that year's choir hell. This time, it's the "Seven Ages of Man" speech from As You Like It. Shakespeare purists should avert their eyes ...

Read more... )

(Yes, the new fire did get a little out of hand during the Vigil. Good thing the church is historic and therefore not required to have such modern amenities as a sprinkler system, or we'd have been renewing our baptismal promises early ... )


nebroadwe: From "The Magdalen Reading" by Rogier van der Weyden.  (Default)
The Magdalen Reading

August 2014



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